The acrimony felt in a heart cannot be healed on its own from those bitter repining of inner turmoil that keep a person in bondage.
For this kind of suffering usually occurs due to some form of injustice; when a wrong has been inflicted by another and the circumstances were too much to bear. Then, when outward aggression is ingested (taken in from words tempered in anger), it’s as if he swallowed a disease that cannot be eradicated through humanistic treatments. For this one was caught off guard when his life took an unexpected turn and was forced to go an unplanned direction because of the thoughtlessness of another; when underhanded behavior brought about unfair consequences that set him with a disadvantage, causing his heart to be overrun with indignation, for he did not foresee this outcome.
So civility was abandoned when seeds of hatred were planted, taking root in his innermost being (like a weed that eventually crowds out anything healthy from growing). Yet, the aftermath remains, leaving animosity and distrust behind as by-products of severe offense. For when someone has been afflicted by this type of insult, restoration to wholeness does not come by hearing the words “I’m sorry”, because his heart cannot accept these sentiments as true and will always be looking out of the corner of his eye expecting the worst to happen again.
Then, the one found in this state relegates himself to a defensive position, ready to fend off others without first giving them much of a chance. For the contempt he carries inside causes him to view others with skepticism, never allowing another to get close enough to be a real friend. The wall he has built to encase his heart is thicker than most who have known some sort of insult. Like a cement vault that is protecting something valuable, it is meant to deter any intruders from getting a look inside. So none are allowed access to his soft interior, nor are they able to breach his fortified exterior, because the defenses this one has set up would ward off even the most amicable of strangers; those who aren’t easily put-off just because another is disgruntled.
Even some gentle coaxing by the most caring of sorts cannot entice this one out of his shell or prompt him to let down his guard for a brief moment. Because the injury suffered was so egregious, nothing anyone says or does has the power to off-set his bitterness, nor calm the hostility brewing just beneath the surface, that is waiting to be released in a fury with very little provocation. As a result, the eruptions of anger that flow out of him (like a dam that has burst) are filled with venomous words and sharp retorts, drowning out the voice of reason coming from another.
Now, resentment has become his closest ally, as the only confidant whose opinion he values, the only one he believes is telling him the truth when it reinforces his right to be cynical. After all, he is the “victim”, and so should not be expected to forgive and forget, even though most others would have moved on by now. Staying embittered suits him just fine, for he is not ready to relinquish his pain, having grown comfortable in his suffering. So then, even if many years have passed, his heart will be bound to that moment in time (as if he were frozen into that space) by reliving this transgression over and over again in his mind, recounting every step and detail which led him to experience such cruel abuse.
Without knowing a clear course of retribution (even though he does not see himself as a vengeful person), in his thoughts, this one has created vindictive plots which he believes would satisfy his need for justice. However, he would never go so far as implementing any of these plans. Instead, he ponders what it would feel like to actually follow through with his schemes of revenge, seeing this as his only avenue for freedom, where he will, at last, be the one with the smug expression after having bested those he views as enemies. Yet, what this one doesn’t understand is that he has been misled, misguided by his prideful emotions, which told him that he was right, and so should not relent, nor abandon his fixed position of remaining connected to his contempt, harboring a grudge that cannot be settled in appeasement.
But what of this one? How shall he find relief for his discomfort? What possible cure does he hold that can remedy his vexation?
Though the solution is easy, unless he is willing to yield his heart and lay his grievances in My hands, ultimately nothing will change, for the root of his issue must be uncovered, then bathed in the love of forgiveness, where every vitriolic emotion is subdued by the warm kindness of the Savior; who is the only remedy for even the deepest pain of those wounds that stem from being deceived.
For, when another made the conscious decision to lay a trap and set up a manipulative snare, the foot of this one became entangled, though his heart could not believe those he trusted would be that deceptive. When the ugliness of their actions was revealed, he sustained the torment of inner pain. It was as if the damage was caused by a sharp object that cut right through the center of his being, leaving him with an emotional laceration that is unable to heal. So now he carries this tear in his heart as a reminder of the inequity he suffered. Though he doesn’t dwell as often on this assault to his reputation, his mind will still wander there as he remembers every insult and slur that was used to tear him down by those trying to goad him into acting out in an effort to reinforce their case and turn the tables on him.
So, though he is hoping this offense only needs a few stitches to repair the damaged area, what he doesn’t realize is that this cut went through many layers of his heart. For when the knife of betrayal lacerates a soul, it goes beyond the surface and causes much more damage than just a small nick to the pride. This kind of affront hits an individual at his core, the space within where faith is stored, the very bedrock of what he believes.
For inside each person there is trust embedded. Yet for most, the circumstances of life cause this foundation to erode, leaving many with very little confidence in those around them, doubting the sincerity of another. But there are some, who, like this one, tried to see only the best in others and thought most only held good intentions towards him, never dreaming anyone would want to destroy his reputation. Then, when he was accosted by deceit, most of his certainty was severed, filling his heart with disillusionment and mistrust.
So how can this one know complete repair? What must he do to find full restoration?
It is the seedbed of doubt that must be uprooted. The cradle holding unbelief that must go. For when the lies and misgivings are cleared away, then authentic trust can be reestablished. But this state of well-being can only be instated through the work of My Spirit. For when each lie is confronted with the TRUTH, it no longer has the power to remain. Therefore, once every deception has been revealed, the whole root can be properly dislodged so that the site of injury can be fully cleaned and washed without any animosity left to be found.
However, this will take some effort on the part of this one. For if he is willing to come before Me and allow Me to point to each lie taken in, then those animus thoughts filled with vindication (which spoke to his pride and caused him to stiffen his back) can be undone. I can re-work your thoughts by renewing your mind to process your past with a whole new perspective so that you no longer think with your “old man” mentality. Then, the way you see what happened to you will no longer be viewed through the lens of a “victim”. For all who belong to Me are “more than conquerors” and so should see themselves in this manner.
Yes, in this world there will always be injustice, where one will trample on the rights of another. However, My children must raise their thinking above this vain behavior, no matter what anyone does to them, even if they suffer great loss. For their true identity is stationed on a higher plain, as those I have commissioned to be My representatives; who choose to humbly walk down a difficult road in order to lead others to the point of salvation, and easily forgive every slight because there is something much greater at stake than their own reputation.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:37-39