Once the moon has set upon the night sky and darkness covers the land, the shadows formed where the corner walls meet will once again appear deep and looming, as if going beyond their natural boundaries, like an endless void that seeks to engulf the whole room, always ready to overtake the heart which sits huddled upon her bed.
As she gathers herself up, she hopes to find some form of protection from the pain that surely awaits in the space where sleep exists. For she knows closed eyes open to the portal of places wished forgotten, bringing back the memories of unwanted advances, the closeness of one who was not welcomed and would not accept her rebuff as the answer, who then allowed his anger to lead.
So against her will, he made himself known, though she pleaded and begged for him to leave. And now, when she closes her eyes and lays her head down to rest, his face appears, with his jaw set in hatred and his eyes displaying the contempt held in his heart (for he had determined she would participate in his vile plans).
Disregarding the damage his actions would cause, he decided to have his way. So he aggressively pursued her until his point was made… that he was not one who would stand for rejection, and would not allow her to say “No”.
Her life now feels divided, as if all the days before violence issued itself upon her were just an illusion; when laughter came bubbling up from inside her as she happily sat with her friends, content with the direction she had chosen for her future, enchanted by the potential her life would hold; ready to fully embrace each moment and live in the warmth and brightness generated by her eagerness and positive outlook.
Yet, in a single moment of time, fate created a curtain (as if setting up a wall), an impenetrable barrier which has partitioned off her past like part of a dream; something she can recall but cannot reconnect to in her being, nor find the happiness she once knew, or engage life with the same fervor.
Since that day, when darkness stepped in uninvited, intruded upon all of her plans, and forced his presence upon her, she has stood in the place of sadness, as one who has felt robbed of all that was before her, who cannot regain the momentum for living, or rejoin with the zeal she once felt.
She sits wondering what would have happened if she had only made a different choice, had never encountered the one who would steal her contentment; who would, through his profane behavior, take away her feelings of safety and her confidence in the security of her future. Never once did she entertain the idea that she would fall prey to one who was replete with such evil.
Now, when she succumbs to the weariness of the day and allows sleep to lead her to the place of unconsciousness, she will, again, relive that terrifying moment where she no longer had any say, and could not fend him off as she encountered his strength. Overwhelmed by his force, all of the hope held in her heart vanished, almost as if it had never existed.
Her future marred, lost is the wonder and excitement of what could be. Her heart only sits in the present and cannot see beyond anything but existing, where shades of gray are the colors that cover all of her days, turning increasingly darker once the sun starts to set, knowing those moments of loneliness will soon arrive, filling her heart with dread; hoping to make it through the night with peaceful dreams running through her head, but knowing there is only a slim chance of this happening.
All of her plans seem to have been stolen, replaced with something foreign… an unshakable desire to just simply stop living. Now, a voice inside her can be heard speaking dark words which include her demise, telling her peace can only be realized by choosing death – for the pain which she carries, along with all of her suffering can only be erased by ending her own life. Over and over again these words go through her mind, like the lilt of some grotesque tune, encouraging her to step into its marching line and follow through with its suggestions.
Yet as she considers these grim thoughts, from somewhere in the distance she hears the words, “Don’t give up!” A gentle voice calls out to her with whispers of hope and love; in kindness it seeks her, seeing her value and speaking to her worth. “Hope is not lost…!” There is a way to regain everything that was taken and set her free from the “who” she has become by breaking off all that has been holding her hostage. Then, the passion she once held can reignite filling her with the dreams from her past, those she had all but forgotten.
From a singular experience with My goodness, the fog created by pain can be lifted, for the other voice calling out is Me, the One who has seen all your heartache and suffering, who is able to heal every injury you have sustained.
I am aware of every tear shed and wanted to offer comfort in those long hours of the night, with words of love coming from the heart of the One who truly adores you. So choose My voice, the one speaking out in words filled with hope.
I am able to erase the agony (as if nothing unseemly happened), for My love is able to cover every part of your life by reaching into the places hidden deep inside, washing away the stains where evil has left its mark. Death is not the answer because it does not offer the promise of brighter tomorrows, and can’t bring anything but darkness. Only I AM able to set everything right, restore back those things the enemy tried to ruin.
By listening to My voice today, to those things I am speaking, your whole life can change. In the single moment of acknowledging My existence, I am able to come in, once granted permission, and move out the dark cloud that has been hovering about, shifting your soul over to where My light shines the brightest – positioned over those who have chosen Me as Father, and answered “yes” when I called out their name.
As if regaining their sight, these are able to see a future filled with breathtaking promise. So ask Me in today. Allow Me to bring the needed healing. Do not retreat back behind the walls you have erected, for healing is part of knowing true freedom.
Listen to My voice alone. Ask Me into your life, maybe for the first time, or as someone who needs to get reacquainted with Me again. Do not listen to the other voice which is speaking, for I am the only way out of the misery you are experiencing.
“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” Psalms 30:2